I want to be annihilated completely, I want reciprocal forgetting, I want the angels not to recognize me.

Anti-Aubade

apple-brained harlequin,
staggering on the streets
no twist of fate can save you

empty and so beautiful,
you curse at the sun for
abandoning you to the night(mares)

with vodka veins and a valium mind
all you want is release
but you are dying slowly

from a heavy heart and
a schizophrenic mind, moving
like a marionette without strings

fear grips your broken bones
and you fall, a second time
(courage is dead)

and your stitches are sore because
you are coming undone (again)
alcoholic blood, colorless face

where there used to be rainbows
there is only darkness, night
where is the sun? where is the light?

you pass out among the lilies
in a flower bed miles from home
dreaming of becoming invisible

while immobilized and blind
you just wait for the sun to rise
so you can clear your head

you have this reputation
for being alive
(but you are dead)

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